Relationships of
all kinds form the core of our daily experience. I receive more inquiries
about relationships than any other subject. I have been studying the way
we connect with other people for many years.
Workshops focused on emotional needs:
In the eighties, I taught two workshops about the way we form and maintain
relationships. The title of the first was, “The Human Connection”. I taught
the importance of every encounter from the person who checks your groceries
to your fellow employees or your boss. We developed means for getting
what you want and need from these encounters.
The second title, “The Intimate Connection” was about our closest relationships.
The workshop was the next step in using the skills the participants had
learned in the first workshop. The focus was on family, partners, and
close friends. The theme was built upon the premise that we enter relationships
in order to get our emotional needs met. In order to be successful we
must also be willing the help the other person get their needs met.
Chart comparison reports: What is their value?
I am often asked if computerized reports that compare the planets in
one chart with the planets in a second person’s chart are helpful. They
can be very helpful as a beginning point. For example; when you learn
that just because your Moon in Sagittarius puts a high value on travel
for relaxation and education, does not mean that it is a priority for
your friend or partner with the Moon in Cancer. Further, you may learn
that money and security issues are important to your Taurus mate, while
you put more emphasis on your Venus in Leo need for looking good. That
explains why a new dress for the party is an extravagance to Sun in Taurus,
and a necessity to the Venus in Leo. This kind of information is included
in a good quality chart comparison report.
What is missing?
The part that is missing is the “person”. You are more than the sum
of the parts. We are all made up of some basic human needs that we strive
to get met without creating too much friction in our relationship with
other human beings who are striving to meet their own needs. Astrology,
in the hands of an experienced Astrologer, can help sort out the primary
or most important needs of each person and help to develop strategies
for a harmonious plan to reach that goal. Once you have acquired this
information, your own creativity will suggest even more good ideas to
lend support to those you care about. This is just the first step.
Your goal is to get your own needs met!
In order to address your own needs you must learn how to communicate
more clearly what you want and need to your friends and family. My clients
are surprised when I explain that the first step to getting one’s own
emotional needs met is to identify what they are. I’m not referring to
every whim that might cross your mind. I am referring to those really
important things, without which life is not complete.
Make a list.
The list might begin with; what I need to feel good about myself. Another
item on the list could be; what I need to feel secure about money. Add
this if education has been interrupted; what I need to feel informed and
skilled. Some will add; what I need to feel honored and respected by my
family. Almost everyone lists; what I need to feel worthy of love from
a special person. Each of you will add priorities of your own.
A skilled Astrologer can help you develop your list by referring to
the primary needs shown in your chart. For example; if you have given
up on ever having a warm relationship with your sister (or brother) and
family closeness is one of your most important issues, it can be very
helpful for the Astrologer to explain the needs of your sister from her
birth planets. (This can be done in an ethical way without revealing any
negative traits that would intrude upon the sister’s privacy) Remember
the goal would be to foster understanding and harmony between you and
your family member. Chart comparison can help.
Read for information.
Many books have been written for the person without astrological training.
I often recommend a book called, Your Magical Child, by Maria Kay
Simms. While this is very helpful if you have young children, it is also
a great place to start in order to learn about your own “Inner Child”.
As you read along you are likely to say to yourself, “I wish MY parents
had read this book!” One of my favorite Astrologers, Dr. Zipporah Dobyns,
has this to say about Simms’ book: “… an unusually effective blend of
psychology, astrology, and common sense.” It is precisely this blend that
makes Astrology a useful tool for improving all of your relationships.
