You may be surprised
when you uncover the source of your beliefs. We each have an image in
our minds about the way the world should work and the “way it is supposed
to be”. Further we have a set of rules in our heads that we use to run
our lives. The image and the rules form our philosophy of life. They may
not be written down, but they are there. “So”, you might ask, “Where are
they? It is, as if by magic, they appear when the world fails to live
up to our image or expectation. The same is true of our list of rules;
the rules appear when someone, with whom we are dealing, breaks one of
them. We are outraged, “Why did you do that?” “That is not right!” we
exclaim. “That is just not the way it is supposed to be!”
We also have a group
of values of which we approve. We may choose our friends because they
have a similar way of looking at religion, family, sports, or politics.
When I view a chart, I have an impression of some of the core values and
attitudes that will be important to you based upon the symbolic meaning
of the patterns the planets make. For example is you were born when the
Sun was in the sign Cancer, (or other Cancer planets), I know you will
base some of your attitudes about life upon the “family code”.
If your family always
gets together on July 4th for a family reunion, and you are
married to someone who hates picnics and family picnics in particular,
you may not be willing to compromise about such an emotionally charged
issue. To your mate, that may seem to be completely unreasonable. In situations
where emotions run deep, it will be necessary for each person to honor
the rules and values of the other that trigger such emotions. When the
Cancer person’s mate realizes that one of the qualities that attracted
her/him was the strong loyalty to the family they might be willing to
adjust to family gatherings and thus honor that quality in their mate.
If you are making
decisions from your very own set of beliefs, you are probably making choices
that work for you. If on the other hand, you are simply mirroring the
rules you were taught, that over time you really do not agree with, you
might be making choices by a hidden set of rules that fail to get what
you want. For example: You were brought up to believe that the Mother
runs the household and the Father supplies the money. You may select a
partner or mate that has a different set of rules. Until you discuss the
practical, common sense, reality of who has the skill and inclination
to perform certain chores, you may be fighting for a pattern with which
you don’t agree. One of my clients was relieved to discover that her husband
actually enjoyed grocery shopping. She, on the other hand, hated it and
much preferred to balance the checkbook and cut the grass.
Have you heard the
story of the family custom of trimming off the end of the ham before baking?
Then, one holiday the child asked her Mother why she was cutting off part
of the ham. Her mother turned to her and said, “I don’t really know, ask
your grandmother”. To which the grandmother replied, “It was the only
way to get it into the biggest pan I had”. When we laugh about the story,
it reminds us that some custom, habit, rule, or idea, may have had validity
at one point for someone else but be totally inappropriate for us.
We are continually
growing and changing based upon our very personal life experiences. An
Astrologer can point out cycles of change that offer opportunities to
examine our set of assumptions and bring them into the present. Are you
willing to accept the idea that if the rule book you are using is not
getting the results you expected, that perhaps you could design a set
of rules and a world image that is more in harmony with your own beliefs
and values based upon who you are today?
It is helpful to
consider that the cycles that are operating in your mind may be on a different
timetable than that of those around you. Are you willing to allow others
with a different set of rules and assumptions, to make different choices?
We all have within us a tendency to reach for an ideal, God in some form,
a set of rules and values that will support our good feeling about ourselves.
The Astrologer sees Jupiter, Saturn, and Neptune in your chart and begins
to understand the way you create those guidelines. Exploring this subject
with people in your inner circle can establish a bond of tolerance and
understanding.
